“Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine.” – Rob Ford, November 5, 2013. Photo by Flickr user Joseph.Morris
By Urban Anomie
Toronto, Ontario. T.O. for short.
North America’s third largest city. The centre of the universe.
The land of crack-smoking, alcoholic mayors.
The home of . . . wait, what?
The land of crack-smoking, alcoholic mayors.
Toronto’s infamous mayor Rob Ford was one of the most popular guys on the Interweb today, after admitting to having smoked crack “about a year ago.”
Or maybe he admitted to having got caught smoking crack. Or was it that he smokes crack regularly? No! That’s right, the media was wrong all along because they asked if he “smoked crack regularly,” which isn’t the case, as Ford confirmed that he only smoked crack that one time but was actually in a self-described “drunken stupor” and can’t remember. Of course, there was that one time on May 24, 2013 when he flatly denied having smoked crack when asked by a journalist after an alleged video of him smoking crack surfaced.
Phew. Glad that’s all been straightened out.
The news that Ford is a crackhead was picked up around the world today, from media outlets such as NBC, CNN, FOX News, to the BBC, Australia’s ABC, EFG, LMN, OPP, and QRS. For much of the day, “Rob Ford” was trending on Twitter, as millions of people cracked joke at his expense (see what I did there?)
It’s not often that the mayor of one of the biggest cities in the world embarrasses his city in such a fashion . . . Correction: it’s not often that a mayor of one of the biggest cities in the world’s embarrassing actions get picked up by the world media.
But it gets better. Moments after admitting to having smoked crack, Ford kicked off his 2014 mayoral campaign.
A man with such gumption, a man with balls of steel that big must have a place in politics. Garbage Island doesn’t have a leader, does it? Ship him there.